My Mother’s Shoes

My Mother’s Alzheimer’s disease is progressing to the point that she rarely leaves her bed. It’s a hard thing to watch and even harder because she’s never had the life that she should have. My eldest Sister came down to visit and while both Sisters and my Niece sat around my Mother’s bed, I noticed my Mother’s shoes. It has only been a few weeks since she was up and walking (albeit…slowly) but then she always did walk slowly. To appreciate just how slow, you would have to be a small child on Main Street at Disneyland…waiting for your Mother to hurry so you could catch up to your older sisters…and your Father keeping a respectable pace, forcing you to stay behind.

I felt a certain poignancy, seeing those white shoes. I know she has never liked them, preferring a darker pair of SAS shoes, no matter what color clothing my middle Sister dresses her in. I borrowed my Eldest Sister’s phone camera to take this. She understood the shot, the deeper meaning and why I took it. I look at it now with so many conflicting emotions. I can smile at all the memories and private, inappropriate jokes between 3 sisters. I can tear up at the losses we have survived, yet find great, enduring love in a Family strengthened from hardships shared within the life of one small and frail women. Sometimes it feels like the sun, just breaking through the rain. Sometimes it feels like a heavy weight tied to one leg. Life does that to you. So does Love.

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3 Responses to “My Mother’s Shoes”

  1. brownrygg Says:

    Beautiful shot and beautiful writing. Thanks for sharing. “so does Love”….great line.

  2. Your mother is a wonderful woman and will be added to our prayer list. I often wonder which is more painful, to lose a mother suddenly without warning or to watch one’s mother leave you slowly through an illness such as Alzheimer’s. It is never easy to lose a parent and I don’t think one way is any less painful than the other. Give her a kiss for me.

  3. H….that is the most moving picture you’ve ever taken. It’ll stay with me forever.

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