9-11: re-lived

Yesterday, a very evil man’s life came to an abrupt and justified end and this normally docile woman is very content with his demise. I’m not a political person and I rarely watch the news but this event is important to me on a very personal level. In September 2001, I took a road trip across 38 US States, surpassed 9,000 miles and met some very inspirational Americans who’s lives were forever altered by tragedy.

After 10 years of determined pursuit, a great Nation has justice for 2,740 innocent American citizens who were at the wrong place at the wrong time.  I am so very proud of the US Military of Sea, Air and Land, the Black Hawk Pilots and those American Warriors whose sacrifice we will never know about. I am grateful to those that gave their lives in pursuit of something they believed important enough to protect and defend… and to the families who gave more than they should have had to. This American feels a certain sense of relief and satisfaction, but in the end, believes God decides all final justice for each of us.

To the children who were 5 years of age when they painted this and to the teacher who dreamed it up (A memorial for all who lost their lives or were left broken) You as teens now, may never know how much this helped people hold hope for the future…but I was one of them.

To those who lost their lives and those who left a token of love behind… I will always remember.

To those workers, who endured unbelievable obstacles, even to the detriment of their own lives… I will be forever grateful.

To the City that never wavered from her goal and to the people who love her, I will always be inspired.

And to those who protect us in the face of extreme danger, who allow us to be free, I will be forever proud to be American…and relieved we’re on the same side 😉

Please care…

About others and read this…

Imagine each day you wake, you live with the possibility of feeling ill. Your throat gets scratchy, your ears plug, your sinus’s have painful pressure and your eyes water. Imagine everyday feeling like you have a cold…that will never go away. Not enough? Take your right hand and with your index finger and thumb, pinch them together over your nose and hold. It’s at  this point you begin to breath through your mouth. Now, with your left hand, place your flat palm over your mouth and hold tight. Imagine the weight of a 30lb child standing on your chest in the center between your nipples. Can you feel the weight pressing? Now wait until you have to breath…until you’re actually scared…and then… don’t let go. Not enough. Dig a hole… in the ground…and place yourself in it. Let a friend cover you over with fresh, heavy earth, until there’s no light and no air. Get the picture?

Asthma facts and Statistics

Every day in America Alone:

• Every day in America Alone:
  40,000 people miss school or work due to asthma.
•  30,000 people have an asthma attack.
•  5,000 people visit the emergency room due to asthma.
•  1,000 people are admitted to the hospital due to asthma.
•  11 people die from asthma.

An estimated 20 million Americans suffer from asthma (1 in 15 Americans), and 50% of asthma cases are “allergic-asthma.” The prevalence of asthma has been increasing since the early 1980s across all age, sex and racial groups.

Multiple Chemical Sensitivity 

Chemical-based products are all around: in the clothes we wear, in the food we eat and in the air we breathe. It is not possible to escape exposure. Many people have become sensitized to the chemicals around them. It is estimated that as much as 15% of the population has become sensitized to common household and commercial products. For some people the sensitization is not too serious a problem. They may have what appears to be a minor allergy to one or more chemicals. Other people are much more seriously affected. Such people have a condition known as Multiple Chemical Sensitivity or MCS.

Symptoms of MCS 

• asthma or other breathing problems  • autoimmune disorders  • behavioral problems  • bloating or other intestinal problems  • cardiovascular irregularities  • chronic exhaustion  • disorientation or becoming “lost”  • dizziness  • dystonia (paralysis)  • eye, nose and throat problems • fatigue and depression • flu-like symptoms • food allergies and intolerances • genitourinary problems • headaches • increased sensitivity to odors • inflammation • irritability • learning disabilities • mental confusion • movement disorders • muscle weakness and joint pains • numbness and tingling in limbs • persistent infections, especially yeast  • persistent skin rashes and sores • seizure disorders • short or long term memory loss • visual disturbance

MCS may result from a single massive exposure to one or more toxic substance or repeated exposures to low doses. Some people become chemical-sensitive following a toxic chemical spill at work or in their community, or after exposure to pesticides. Or, individuals may develop this condition from spending time in a poorly ventilated building, where they breathe a combination of chemicals. MCS may be brought on by a wide array of chemicals found at home, at work, in hospitals, in parks, and at school.

Now, the next time you splash on that aftershave…or the next time you spray your body with your favorite brand of perfume…to go to work, a restaurant, a club, a sporting event, a play or concert… think about this…

Did you know that perfume is made of toxic chemicals that can injure your health? Many of the chemicals in perfume are the same chemicals in cigarette smoke, and yet there is no regulation of the fragrance industry. Many people are “bothered” by perfumes – developing headaches, sinus problems, and even asthma from exposures. Many have gotten sick or even disabled from wearing (or being exposed to) fragrances and using other scented products. And fragrances are now used in almost every cleaning, laundry, and personal-care product on the market! These chemicals go directly into the bloodstream when applied to our skin and are also absorbed into the skin from our clothing. We also inhale the chemical fumes, which then go straight to our brains where they can do major harm. Many even have a “narcotic” effect, which is why some people seem “addicted” to their perfumes.

The problem with scented products is not so much the smell itself as the chemicals that produce the smell. Nearly all scented products currently on the market are made largely or entirely of synthetic chemicals, usually derived from petroleum or coal tar. Nearly one-third of the chemical additives used in perfumes and other scented products are known to be toxic, and it’s not safe to assume that the other chemicals are safe just because they aren’t yet known to be toxic. (Keep in mind that most of the chemicals used in this country, including 90% of the pesticides, have never been tested.) And just one perfume can contain more than 500 chemicals. Expensive products are just as likely as cheap ones to contain synthetic chemicals. And words like “hypoallergenic,” “natural scent,” “floral,” and the names of various flowers don’t mean that you can trust the product under the label–they just mean that the manufacturer wants you to think that the product is safe. Even “unscented” may actually mean that a masking fragrance has been added to the product to disguise the smell of certain ingredients.

The only safe assumption about scented products is that they contain numerous toxic chemicals which constantly vaporize into the air and attach themselves to the hair, clothing, and surroundings of anyone who wears them. These chemicals are skin irritants, suffocants, eye and respiratory tract irritants, and neurotoxins. That’s why being around someone who’s wearing a scented product (or who’s wearing clothes that have picked up smells from past use of scented products) can cause an chemically sensitive person to develop obvious allergy symptoms (sneezing, coughing, watery eyes), to have an asthma attack, to develop a headache, to become dizzy or nauseous, to have trouble focusing or thinking or remembering, to experience sudden mood changes, to develop muscle cramps or spinal subluxations, or even to have a seizure or lose consciousness.

And that’s why wearing scented products isn’t just a personal choice. It’s a choice to impact the air space of others–and in ways you may not be able to predict or control. And that’s why “I’m just wearing a little!” or “It’s not perfume, it’s just my soap” are irrelevant responses. The chemicals don’t care. They don’t care how much you’re wearing or in what form you’re wearing it–they’re going to vaporize into the air around you and do their chemical thing, even if you weren’t planning to harm someone.

I don’t own these statistics and words. They belong to these wise and caring people and Foundations:

Thanks go to Roberta Rigsby, the World Asthma Foundation, the Asthma Foundation and the Chemical Sensitivity Foundation for all this great info and for trying to make the world a safe place for everyone.

Working out the Runway

Dorothy Virginia 1923 – 2010

God Speed Mama. We LOVE you!

What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind.

William Wordsworth

My Mother’s Shoes

My Mother’s Alzheimer’s disease is progressing to the point that she rarely leaves her bed. It’s a hard thing to watch and even harder because she’s never had the life that she should have. My eldest Sister came down to visit and while both Sisters and my Niece sat around my Mother’s bed, I noticed my Mother’s shoes. It has only been a few weeks since she was up and walking (albeit…slowly) but then she always did walk slowly. To appreciate just how slow, you would have to be a small child on Main Street at Disneyland…waiting for your Mother to hurry so you could catch up to your older sisters…and your Father keeping a respectable pace, forcing you to stay behind.

I felt a certain poignancy, seeing those white shoes. I know she has never liked them, preferring a darker pair of SAS shoes, no matter what color clothing my middle Sister dresses her in. I borrowed my Eldest Sister’s phone camera to take this. She understood the shot, the deeper meaning and why I took it. I look at it now with so many conflicting emotions. I can smile at all the memories and private, inappropriate jokes between 3 sisters. I can tear up at the losses we have survived, yet find great, enduring love in a Family strengthened from hardships shared within the life of one small and frail women. Sometimes it feels like the sun, just breaking through the rain. Sometimes it feels like a heavy weight tied to one leg. Life does that to you. So does Love.

Die Trying

To change the world,
Start with one step.
However small,
The first step is hardest of all.

Once you get your gate,
You’ll be walkin tall.
You said you never did,
Cause you might die trying,
Cause you might die trying.
Cause you—

If you close your eyes,
Cause the house is on fire.
And think you couldn’t move,
Until the fire dies.
The things you never did,
Oh, cause you might die trying,
Cause you might die trying.
You’d be as good as dead,
Cause you might die trying,
Cause you might die trying.

If you give, you, you begin to live.
If you give, you begin to live.
You begin, you get the world.
If you give, you begin to give
You get the world, you get the world.
If you give, you begin to live.

You might die trying.
Oh, you might die trying.
Yeah, you might die trying.

The things you never did,
Cause you might die trying;
You’d be as good as dead.
You never did.

Dave Mathews

The story of them

Whiles searching through a bin of odds and ends at the local thrift, I came across a number of wonderful animals all waiting for their next adventure. With their fresh faces and bright colors, I knew it would be only a matter of time before some child would take them home. In the midst of “the pretties” I found some odd-looking, unlikely to be leaving, misfits. I’m a bit of a oddity myself so after debating my inability to leave them…I grabbed these unloved creatures and took them with me. At home, I sat pondering them while they watched me eat my lunch. I began to wonder about their stories…and that’s when they began to whisper…

Dwight Threetoe was born to Livingston and Maudette on the Island of Amphibianina, a lost sister to the Galapagos. Dwight showed an amazing afinity for style at an early age and, while his siblings could change color to match their surroundings, Dwight could also sparkle like sequens. His parents found this wonderfully entertaining on dark nights while preparing the evening meal. But at 15, Dwight felt his calling and left to follow his dream of becoming a Fashionista. Sadly his toenails kept snagging the fabrics and he had to leave the dream behind. His search for new interests brought him to the big Apple where, after competing on a food show called “Chopped”, executives realized his true potential and offered him his own pilot. Viewers at home became mesmerized by Dwight’s unusually flamboyant clothing (which in reality was his skin) and his ability to chop, dice and mince with a single toenail. The show “Slice and Dice” became an instant favorite and now Dwight’s three toe impressions can be found on the Walk of Fame.

Memphis, future King of Bongo, fell into a tourist’s suitcase while imitating a James Bond low evading tuck and roll manuver. Once the case was reopened, he found himself on the West Coast, making friends easily with his natural good looks and charm. He was offered many choice roles in Hollywood but the bright lights soon bored him and he found himself drawn to Monster Trucks. His career was cut short when Dumai, his loyal bodyguard, found him chattering away with a group of grease monkeys and took him back the Motherland after a thorough cleansing and trip to D-Land.

Dumai (loyal friend and bodyguard to Memphis) was born into a family of tactical warfare extremists. He trained early in marshal arts, bull riding and missile deployment… though his mother felt ballet would give him a “extra little something”. Through his skills, he came under the notice of Kong, King of Bongo, and was chosen to shadow his son. At Dumai’s appointment ceremony, King Kong made note of his combat knowledge, sheer bulk and lethal piercing eyes but admitted it was Dumai’s natural grace that finally won him the opportunity to serve. Dumai’s Mother beamed. Memphis and he were inseparably until the suitcase incident. They were both relieved to be reunited, then took the trip to Disneyland before returning back home.

Lola is the love child of a famous actress/dancer and a mystery man she met in the jungle trees on a long gone vacation. Born with the natural grace of a dancer, Lola trained for years as a ballerina, only to slip on a banana peel in the middle of a perfect pirouette. Once recovered, she made her way to the city of lights where she was invited to join the cast of Jungle Book. She can be heard singing on Tuesdays and Saturdays at the Fried Plantain Theatre and Review.

Hamburgler was born into a family of vegans who noticed early on his habit of nose twitching when neighbors would barbeque. Afraid for his future, his Mother would hide his allowance which, unknowingly ignited his life of crime. Dressed in his bedtime pajamas, he would sneak out at odd hours of the night in search of a local butcher shop. With fresh ground chuck in hand, he would then locate the nearest barbeque grill and fire up. After receiving several complaints of pickle chip litter, the authorities followed a trail of mustard and found Hamburgler consuming mass quantities of stolen red meat. He was released to the custody of Ronald MacDonald, where he spends his days in “grilling-but-not-eating restitution”, forced to wear red neckties.

Anza Borrego

We took the Mangie Wrangie out for some sight seeing at Anza Borrego in search of wildflowers and were not let down. We’ve had a bit more rain this year, so they’re coming up rather nicely, stretching their colorful blooms to reach the bright sunshine. I did get a little carried away with the 4 wheeling and hardly took any shots of the flowers… but oooh, what fun. I drove over a small river, chomped up and over some gnarly boulders, stirred up dust and sand…and zipped by some slow-moving vehicles stuck on the level 2 trail. All those inferior Honda’s, Toyota’s and Mazda’s were left eating my dust. This was level 3. The power of the big red jeep a-coming with me yelling yeeehawwww out of the open windows, hair whipping my face and huge grin… well, they were left to bow down. Mike was either yelling or hanging on for dear life in the passenger seat after he gave me the wheels. But the other Jeepers (old and new) and a sprightly Land Rover were right there with me…all thumbs up. It was wonderful! I pulled over momentarily to take one shot. This is all ya get 😉

Half Crocked

I’m one of those people who can’t sit back. My mind is always whirling with the next event or idea. About a month ago, after realizing I had mastered the Barbeque, I started thinking about my next cooking adventure. The idea of the crock pot came to mind. Tonight I went to Target and perused the kitchenware like a pro…of course I got side-tracked with a woman wandering around with a patterned pillow. I knew she was looking for either towels or a bedspread, and anyone that knows me, knows I can’t stand around waiting for someone to miss-match. There’s this “need to help” thing that comes over me. It’s a “gift”…  I grabbed a towel, walked quietly towards her, shoved it at her and watched her smile…

Back at the crock pot aisle… they apparently call them slow cookers now…maybe that’s because there’s one made by “Crock pot” and they’re hording the name. Makes perfect sense to me. They had a really nice little red one for 20 bucks but it looked so small compared to the rest. It also had this weird flicking switch button that I did not feel met up with the crock pot standards I aspire to. I left and headed to a store called Kohl’s. I was even less impressed with the choice they had and they were much more expensive!…So…yes…I drove to Wal-Mart. I hate the store after I had a scream out in a long center aisle with some blowhard shithead bully that yelled at an elderly woman. She apparently wasn’t walking fast enough for his supreme being. I can take anything…but bullying a senior is my limit. We had quite an audience and I got in some really good stuff before I saw his browbeaten wife and her downcast eyes. The hair went up on the back of my neck and I stopped abruptly knowing she would take the brunt. Besides…Karma baby…He’ll get his.

So back to this crock pot. While looking for the aisle ( I’m only acquainted with where the movies and the giant boxes of Lucky Charms are shelved)… a  woman with a heavy foreign accent, who obviously knew about “my gift”, began to asked me what to use to sloth her skin…well not in those words…but I got the gist.  I was happy to know, even with the band aid across my cheek, she was undaunted and knew that I would know. I brought her over to the meager loofa aisle and 10 minutes later I was explaining to her (and a Wal-Mart employee in charge of that aisle), about the benefits of sea-salt and Trader’s lavender sea salt oil scrub abilities. When I felt they were both satisfied, I went back in search of my goal.

On the crock pot aisle, they had lots of quart selections…3 quarts… 4 quarts, 5,7,9…heck how many people can you feed from this pot? I settled on a sorta middle number because it came in black and met my aesthetic needs. I took it to the counter and asked the young man at the register how he was. He got all happy and told me he had just come back from a 3 day vacation. I smiled and politely inquired where he had gone. When he told me “Los Angeles” I decided not to mention it was 40 minutes away and that I go there “for breakfast”  if the biscuits are good…

Back at home, I eagerly cut through the tape and pulled out my new toy. It came with a booklet and as I perused it. I saw words like “saute” and “brown in a skillet”… I shook my head…already thinking about re-taping and returning. I want to cut things up, toss them in and have it come out “food”. I don’t want to “brown” things. That requires a pan and I already have the pot.

I’ve decided to search the net…and possibly some of you know what might be good. I eat fish or fowl, any veggie imaginable…so bring it on you crack pot chefs.

2010…let’s begin again

2010

As this year ends, I find myself anxious to begin the new one, like no other I can ever remember. The actually saying “2010” aloud makes me think of renewed hope, new beginnings, rebuilding, reinventing, while maintaining all I’ve learned from the past year. Some people weren’t affected by the recession but those folks are few and surely fortunate. The majority of us learned hard lessons about extravagance and living beyond our means, taking things for granted and never believing lives can change (and do) in the flash of a moment. In the past weeks, on my travels, I’ve seen and experienced the peoples will to survive under the most dire circumstances…with ingenuity, honor and dignity. I’ve seen some give when there was so little of their own left to give. My belief in the goodness of mankind has been renewed just when I began to forsake it. I find selfish strength in numbers, in mass understanding that we share these difficult times as one world. I know I am not alone in my fears.

I think, we as Americans, have long been spoiled and “over-blessed” with a multitude of unnecessary “things”… failing ourselves… our children and our neighbors on the most basic levels. We must pay more attention to loving, understanding and accepting one another than we waste on arguing our own opinions, religions and staunch beliefs. All the politically correct words in the world don’t feed those who go hungry at night nor hug the loneliest among us. We must be willing to not only listen to those suffering most but to offer our hands in ways that actually do make the difference. We need to leave behind wasted time on the unimportant fluff.  We’re just now re-learning the simplest things that make us the most happiest with the least cost to our pockets…and souls. It’s time to relinquish the cells phones long enough to breath the fresh air and see the magic that God gave us with appreciative eyes. It’s time to finally “see” the beauty and wonder around us and live our lives in simplicity.

I look back at what I’ve lost in a year…my Gallery, my job description, my uterus, the curve in my left cheek, three-quarters of our combined income, a fancy car, two mentors and one very dear friend. To that, I compare what I’ve gained…white eyebrow hairs, simplicity, fairly impressive barbeque skills, some weight, a new group of artistically gifted friends, a mysterious pirate scar, more patience, old wisdom and renewed eyes to finally see the world around me. I thought I’d be older when this epiphany happened. Maybe I just needed to be forced to choose to. I am grateful for all the winding roads that lead me to be a stronger woman, a wiser person and a better human than I ever would have been without being shown the way. Low and behold…I find I gained even from all I’ve lost.

I wish for all of you, those I’m blessed to know, those I don’t know yet and those I never will…a happy, happy New Year full of all the love and happiness you deserve, the eyes to notice it when it’s in front of you and long arms to reach out and grab it when you realize you actually can.

2010…to new beginnings.

Love Heather