Human

Many people out there are soul searching in these difficult times. I am one of them. I can’t put those feelings into words but this lovely song has done it for me. This is for all of you (and me too). Many Blessings 😉 H

Special thanks to Civil Twilight for the beautiful song “Human”, to Da Vinci, 109BC, The Voice, Media Watch, Szukalski, Tori, People’s Voice, The Telegraph, Humanity Healing, Klunavik. MNN

Sea Celebration

It’s been a rough week, but Monday my sisters called to say our Mother’s ashes had finally become available and they were on their way to retrieve them. Apparently, even in death, So Cal keeps people waiting in line.  I thought it would be a bit difficult to explain that I needed to leave work early so that I could join my sisters in a “Dairy Queen Drive Thru” but apparently nothing I say frightens my co-workers any longer.  Mother’s urn was seat belted in the back beside me as we ordered our cones and toasted her in a “High Five Ice Cream salute”. (Our Mother was an avid fan).

Last evening we set sail to scatter her ashes. The location was our Father’s “Halibut Hot Spot” where he won 3 Halibut Derby’s and where we spread his own ashes 4 years back. I did worry about divulging the exact coordinates to the sea captain… but he was a great guy… and I think our secret is safe. Me, being me…I can’t let things just “be”. I have to orchestrate everything into some sort of organized event…and even though my Father’s “service script” was less than perfect (horrendously funny in fact) due to a storm brewing on the Pacific…I did make another effort for my Mother’s sake …and her memory. My Family indulges my need to do this kind of thing. Each of us has “something”. This habit is all mine.

Our boat was a 48 foot Aquila fishing vessel leaving Huntington Harbor Yacht Club. Heck…I’ve lived in Huntington for 20 years and never even knew we had one! We carted our paraphernalia onto the waiting craft and left the dock at precisely 6:30 pm. We had previously sent candles for people to light in a moment of reflection and remembrance. (That’s our kind of service). Leaving the Harbor, I had recorded Scottish Bagpipes such as “Amazing Grace” and “Danny Boy”. I found the recording “allot less drama” than when I hired the actual Bag Piper for my Father’s service. He seemed to have a previously undivulge “problem” with motion sickness…which ultimately became a “problem” for the previous sea captain.

We traveled through the harbor very dignified, pipes blaring, wind whipping through our hair. There was an emotional moment when we noticed 2 birds following us, very determined to keep up. We don’t cry gracefully like in the movies…more of a choked, red-faced, gasping of air…(much like a fish out of water) but we made it through. We are Krishers after all.

When we arrived at the area, the captain turned the boat toward the secret spot and lowered his anchor. My oldest sister (Cindy) gets embarrassed easily… but she was a good sport when I told her she was now “the Matriarch” and, with that title, she was expected to be the first to speak. I had given her some old sea verse previously (reading is easier) and when she spoke, I felt her power and was enormously proud. My middle sister (Julie) was next (I had previously mentioned to go in ceremonial birth order) (again, can’t help this habit) and she spoke from the heart through tears that made her children cry…which in turn made her Sisters cry. The captain stayed composed thank God. I went next with a prayer and then 3 of my sisters’ children spoke about their Grandmother.

What came next needs a little explanation. My dear Mother (born Protestant Christian) was fascinated by the Catholic religion. She made me watch “all things Fatima” while growing up. I’ve probably seen “The Song of Bernadette” 400 times which makes me want to shout  “I can’t make you happy in this world…only in the next“. She collected those sealed rose petal things that they send out to people on mailing lists. She must have had 40 lying here and there. Years ago when I visited Notre Dame, I even brought back a blessed Rosary for her to hold on to. So naturally, when the time came for Julie to spread the ashes, I tuned the iPod to the most wonderful version of Ave Maria I’ve ever heard (by the very talented Josh Groban). If you haven’t heard it…let me just say…it could bring Satan himself down to his knees…something I’d very much like to see.

Upon release, the ashes hit the wind and gently sailed though the air, falling slowly into the waiting ocean . Cindy followed this by dropping a beautiful heart-shaped wreath that my niece Nicole had made from gatherings in my Mother’s garden. I followed that by scattering handfuls of white rose petals. I must silently thank a neighbor (whom had no idea of their contribution and never will)  because I actually stole them in the middle of the previous night, after having forgot to pick some up at the local florist. I was standing in the shower late Monday night, trying to remember all the things that needed to be done, when white petals popped into my head. I jumped out quickly and retrieved my robe. Armed with cutting shears, I marched around the block until I spied some whites roses growing. I am grateful that nothing embarrassing (like a car) happened by while I stealthily hacked away. I did my best not to leave large, noticable bald spots.

Once the 3 sisters had done their best to celebrate their Mother’s life…we stood and watch that beautiful wreath…surrounded by white floating petals…roll wave after wave through an ocean lit by the golden setting sun. I blame the tears on Ave Maria…but it really was a beautiful, peaceful sight…a fitting end to a beautiful woman’s life.

Ceremony completed, big band Benny Goodman brought us back into a lighter mood. During the next hour I witnessed my sister fall on her bum (she was ok), my niece argue with the sea captain about the merits of the Beatles versus any other lesser band and the captain’s shipmate break out his fishing gear. I felt warmed knowing the world was being set right and that life goes on…even after great loss. I felt my Mother and Father’s presence and I know that they were smiling down on us.

Die Trying

To change the world,
Start with one step.
However small,
The first step is hardest of all.

Once you get your gate,
You’ll be walkin tall.
You said you never did,
Cause you might die trying,
Cause you might die trying.
Cause you—

If you close your eyes,
Cause the house is on fire.
And think you couldn’t move,
Until the fire dies.
The things you never did,
Oh, cause you might die trying,
Cause you might die trying.
You’d be as good as dead,
Cause you might die trying,
Cause you might die trying.

If you give, you, you begin to live.
If you give, you begin to live.
You begin, you get the world.
If you give, you begin to give
You get the world, you get the world.
If you give, you begin to live.

You might die trying.
Oh, you might die trying.
Yeah, you might die trying.

The things you never did,
Cause you might die trying;
You’d be as good as dead.
You never did.

Dave Mathews

Illuminance

Where Heaven meets Earth

When one door closes…

My Dear Friends,

It is with great sadness that I tell you, I will be closing the Gallery at the end of April. My Husband Micheal, was laid off from his job of 17 years, making it impossible for me to keep it open. To all those who have been an important part of Anuvue Studio, I wanted to thank you for your friendship and utter kindness. It is very rare to be able to have a dream become a reality. For a short sweet time, with the help and inspiration of all of you, I was able to have mine. A very wise woman told me “Heather, when one door closes, another one opens”… and I will always believe in that wisdom. I want to thank each and every Artist and valued friend for all your very kind thoughts in email, by phone and in person. I share what I can with you here.

I am most proud to announce that the last 2 Artist’s in line to show are Yumiko Yanone and Kweli Walker. Anuvue will fulfill their dreams on April 18th, in a duo show, with a party full of love and celebration.
I do so hope that all of you will join us one last time and make it a great memory.

God Bless all of you and your Families
Love Heather

Hi Heather .
You all have been in my thoughts lately. I’m sorry to hear your lovely Gallery will be closing . It has been a pleasure to be included in your gallery with so many lovely artists.
If you need me to clear out before the 18th so you have more room to showcase other artist please let me know .Otherwise I will shoot for the 25th but still do my best to stop by and say hello before then .
I’m so glad to have met you and hope we have the pleasure of working together again in the future .

See you soon.
Best ,
Gina

Heather,
Sad news indeed. Give your husband my best.
Thanks you for a great place.

Best,
Darcy

Oh sweetie….. I am so sorry. I will be in CA April 5-10 and will try to get up to see you and the gallery. Or at least the gallery as you will probably be working your real job. Krap. And it is such a beautiful gallery. I HATE this economy stuff. We love ya- Vicki

Oh Heather… I am so sad and very sorry to hear of this news. I am certain it was hard to write. What I will always know is how inspired you were by your father to open the gallery. You did him AND you very proud. Let me know how I can help in this final showing….I will contribute some foodie stuff. Xoxo jenny

Oh Heather, I’m so saddened to hear this and so very sorry.
I know that you’re grateful for the time you had running this wonderful space, but it still sucks!
I am so very grateful to you for all you’ve done and want you to know what a difference you’ve made in many people’s lives- including mine, and I will always be grateful for this time.
I will absolutely be there on the 18th– (the day before my birthday actually!)
You did a great thing for a lot of people Heather, remember that always. I wish this weren’t the way it is, but this damn recession.

Love you lots Heather,
MaryBeth

Oh, Heather. I am so sorry for both of you. I sat and cried after I read your email. It breaks my heart to hear that you have to close the doors on your dream.
Also, the uncertainty of your future now that Mike has lost his job. Those feelings came back to me in a flash. Not knowing what doors will open. I remember Patrick trying to remain upbeat while I am sure the turmoil inside was brewing as he thought of how he was going to provide for his family. It is a scary world not knowing what the next day will bring. I cringe every time Patrick comes home and tells me they lost a bid on another contract. Kawasaki is desperately trolling to bring something into the plant. I pray that through his connections, that Micheal will find something soon. We will keep you both in our thoughts every night as we say our prayers with Joseph. You will be added to his prayer list. Godspeed, My Dear, Godspeed. -K

I’m so sorry to hear that, Heather. It’s such a rough time for everyone. I wish you much love and support for the future. I’ll be by with new things for your last month. We’ll go out with a bang! 🙂 Cynthia

Hello!

Most of you have no idea who I am, and you’re probably going to think I’m nuts, but I really feel a need to do this. My name is Dee Muzic, and my husband Tim did most of the carpentry for Heather and Mike. I watched the cabinets, desks, display cabinets, and walls, come to life in my own backyard. I know this sounds crazy, but I feel a real connection to Anuvue Studio and when I read the email Heather sent I cried. I felt a sense of shock as well as an overwhelming sadness for her and Mike. I, as well as the rest of you, know what time, effort, frustration, and love went into making this dream come true for Heather. She made many people’s dreams a reality, along with hers. She is a very unselfish person, and deserves to have her dream fulfilled for as long as possible. I am willing to do whatever I can to keep the studio alive. If ANYONE can think of ANYTHING that we can do to keep the studio and dream alive, please let me know. I know that just one person can’t do much, but with a bunch of people who really care, miracles can happen.

Dear Heather,

I’m so sorry to hear this has happened. That is such a shock and challenge for you both. Your gallery was one of the best things that ever happened to me and the other artists who’ve shown there. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you and Mike. We (the artists and neighbors) must have a big moving party to ease the challenge of getting your things moved, etc. Please let us know how and when we can assist. When one door closes, another one opens! I hope and pray Mike finds a better job right away.

Love Always,
kweli

Hi Heather,

I got your message.
I am so sorry about Mike. I just couldn’t believe it…I’m sure he worked so hard for 17 years for the company and this happens…

And I am so sorry about your gallery, too.
The gallery is your child and the place was my dream place, too.

Thank you for still giving me a chance to have my art show.
Yes I am willing to share my space with Kweli.

If there is anything I can do, please let me know.

Sincerely,

Yumiko

I’m not much with written words but things have been difficult for many of us recently but faith with the help of time heals as well as making us stronger.

Leo

Heather, I am so sorry to hear this painful news. You are the warmest, sweetest spirit that I know. I pray it’s just a short time before something great comes Mike’s way, and you can both hold onto your dreams. Please, please call if there is anything we can do. All our love to you both, Shiela and family

To my dearest beloved Aunt,

I just heard the news from mom and read your blog… unbelievable… it’s the only thing that comes to mind. I can’t imagine how Uncle Mike feels about leaving a place he has been for so very long. Please send him my thoughts. As for you… my heart aches at the thought of you having to depart from something you have given so much devotion and love to achieve. I assure you I wouldn’t miss that show for the world!! You know, I have done much reflection on our times of late, trying to determine it’s purpose. I heard something simple yet profound today… be grateful for what you HAVE, not what you HAD. In the midst of all that we endure, you are a rare soul who shines so bright, you have given others a chance to live out thier dreams, as you live yours. I cannot begin to say I understand, or know what lies in your head or heart. My prayers will be for you and Uncle Mike. Yet rest assured, that you have left your mark on many with your gifts and you will have the opportunity to give and receive again.

I love you so very much!
Forever your niece
Corina

Hope

I usually stick to gallery business but once in a while…I throw in a story. The past weeks have been full of things that have happened to you… to me and to others…and there are things that I would like to say.

Some of you know me and others don’t. I’ve worked in the Printing Industry for more years than I care to let on. I don’t have grey hair yet but reading glasses are definitely coming into play. I’ve already purchased 1.0 readers from Rite-Aid with a scowl. I work during the day, which allows me to have the gallery, opening it only at night. I’ve worked with the same folks, grown with them, cried with them and thankfully have had many more laughs with them than a person has a right to. I wouldn’t trade those years for all the money in Saudi Arabia. You can’t buy the love I hold inside for each and every uniquely lovable one of them. Well, there might be one exception…but I figure karma will take care of him.

Our company had 3 owners originally and I learned from and respected each one for their individual gifts. We lost our “Money Man” one month ago to a sudden heart attack. He was semi-retired and enjoying his life and it hurt his family tremendously… the suddenness and finality of his death. He was a good man. We lost our “Big Boss Man” today. He had been retired for many years but he was my mentor and our founder and very dear to all our worn and withered, printer hearts. He hired me 21 years ago, actually patting me on the butt and sending me into the pressroom…like a lamb to the slaughter. I was a very young 30, without an ounce of confrontational skills, working with men I knew who would not take me seriously. Such was my very first day. I still howl at that memory and wonder at the respect I ultimately came to earn… and the fierce protectors and champions each and every one of them came to be around me. Tonight, my heart goes out to both Families because I know what it is to lose a beloved Father. I would not want to endure it again. The last owner asked me to send a mass email….and in it I said the things I knew had to be said to be proper…but I finished with something about how Gutenberg was about to learn exactly “How it’s really done” 😉 Chuck would have liked that and I owed him.

I looked out into the shop today and watched the faces I have come to love. I see an economy that hurts our industry and make me fearful for all these people around me. I do not know what the future holds and with times as they are, people are amazed to find that I do not watch TV or read the newspaper. I am an optimist by nature and do not like being brought into the harsh realities the news wants to pull us down into. I may be naive in my own little world but I will continue thus so because I will not be polluted by negativity. Bad news sells, along with Brangelina appearances and American Idol songs. But If my mind can stay positive with the world in turmoil, I win a battle every day. I can smile at my fellow man in hopes of making them wonder at what simple secret I hold… that they do not. Fact is, you can choose to be positive in your own mind…or you can make it seem as hopeless as you like. For me, if the sky falls tomorrow, I’m going to be searching for a way to lift it. I was given this life by the grace of God and I almost screwed it up once…I wouldn’t dare waste it again.

Take a good look around you. If you can say you have one friend, if you have clothes on your back, if your children have enough food to eat and if you still have breath in your lungs…you are better off than allot of people who deserve better than their circumstances have given them. If I lose my job tomorrow, if I lose the gallery next, I will still be who I am. I can and will go on and I don’t need the government or Hollywood or the news people to tell me what to feel. And I will make a new dream out of whatever is left from the ashes of the old.

Don’t let the negativity surrounding you…infect you. Keep on going. Don’t look back. Hell, don’t even look sideways. Just keep on going straight. Plant some goodness in your soul and a smile on your face because people need to see it. ..and they need to know it’s ok to have hope.

Paying it forward

I am in need of a painter. The gallery has very high pitched walls with a beautiful wooden ceiling. I don’t have a ladder that even remotely will get me to the top…and given 2 Halloween events ago and my “ladder incident”, I wouldn’t even think of it for my poor right ankle’s sake.

So…last evening I got out the “Yellow Book” which covers my entire area. I opened it to the painter section and flipped through. Me being “picky”, I chose the ad with the best looking design. It was simplistic, angled and had good graphic elements applied. Now I realize that most of you out there (who don’t know me) are trying to figure out what the heck an ad has to do with the quality of a paint service. Not a whole lot.

But, as I’ve said before, there are powers working here that are much greater than me. I’m just the one who is putting them into action. So I called John’s Quality Painting and as it happens, John lives about 1.5 miles from me. He came over within 20 minutes to have a look at the area. John is about 22-25 (I’m guessing) and as I spoke to him, I knew a kindred spirit and shared the many details of this gallery adventure. In return John shared his love of Interior Design and Architecture with me and I got to know a bit about him. When John left I felt confident I had found the right person.

I spoke to John today, so I could get his pricing and let him know the color choices I’ve made. John told me over the phone he would accept no money from me for the gallery painting. He wanted to do it as a gift to the cause. I was stunned…still am to be truthful. He just wants to be a part in helping. He said he believes in “paying it forward’ (my own motto)…at that I had to hold back some tears…

I hope to see alot of John hanging out at the gallery in the future. He has a great heart and is definitely my kind of people.

The Journey

My beautiful and talented (and published) Niece Corina wrote this tonight for Kathy

The Journey

At times we sit on edges
At times we’re on the peak
The paths sometimes are chosen
when we’re strong or when we’re weak
We must embrace the journey
no matter where it veers
through love, through joy and even through the tears
Faith in strength
must never waiver
For when we beckon it to rise
We must embrace the journey
for the roads lead to the skies