I can still remember clearly the first time I heard his voice. I would lay around listening to the radio, trying to catch his name or the name of the band he was frontman for. I would always hear parts of the song… but never enough to make a purchase in the 5 music stores I went to. I would try to sing words from the song, always to a very confused music merchant. Finally, a person at Virgin records had heard it too. They placed the elusive CD in my hand and I was off. I popped that thing into my car and turned it up so loud the walls vibrated and shuddered. The voice was haunting, dark, melancholy. It was deep like the vocals that have attracted my attention since I was a small child. I played that CD endlessly until people refused to ride in my car. I can laugh at that now. That day Chris became my favorite singer. He had the voice of a dark angel. The kind of tone that hits you inside the chest and gives you that twitchy pain behind your eyes. The tone you feel into your very soul.
I’m a firm believer that some people are just not meant for this world. They try so hard to conform and live amongst us. But their souls are always restless. No amount of love or money or beauty or fame can tame them and their search for that “something” that will keep them steady and quiet their soul…it just never comes. Some people will say he was selfish. Some people will say he abused drugs or alcohol. Others will discuss what was in his mind; depression, mental illness, bi-polar, whatever… as if they knew him well both inside and out. The simple fact is no one did. We only knew his music.
What I say? I pray that God wraps loving arms around his family and friends. I pray Chris has finally found his inner peace and is free. God Speed Brother.
Many people out there are soul searching in these difficult times. I am one of them. I can’t put those feelings into words but this lovely song has done it for me. This is for all of you (and me too). Many Blessings 😉 H
Special thanks to Civil Twilight for the beautiful song “Human”, to Da Vinci, 109BC, The Voice, Media Watch, Szukalski, Tori, People’s Voice, The Telegraph, Humanity Healing, Klunavik. MNN
I lost my Father 4 years ago today. During his life, the lessons, love and guidance he gave… molded me into the person I became. He was and always will be my Hero and I was so blessed and lucky to have him. I continue to honor his life by living and creating my own memories…keeping him close to my heart.
these are days you’ll remember
never before and never since, I promise
will the whole world be warm as this
and as you feel it, you’ll know it’s true
that you are blessed and lucky
it’s true, that you are touched by something
that will grow and bloom in you
these are days you’ll remember
when May is rushing over you with desire
to be part of the miracles you see in every hour
you’ll know it’s true, that you are blessed and lucky
it’s true, that you are touched by something
that will grow and bloom in you
these are the days
that you might fill with laughter
until you break
these days you might feel a shaft of light
make its way across your face
and when you do
you’ll know how it was meant to be
see the signs and know their meaning
you’ll know how it was meant to be
hear the signs and
know they’re speaking to you
to you
I saw this tiny girl dancing among sparkles on the shore at twilight. It reminded me of a very beautiful old poem by Lord Byron.
She walks in beauty, 1814
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow’d to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair’d the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o’er her face ;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.
And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
Last weekend Micheal and I traveled up the 395 for the 99th Birthday celebration of Carroll Thomas… and especially to give him the portraits painted by the 818 Artists.
About 2 hours into the road trip there’s a place out in the middle of nowhere that suddenly opens up into a shopping center. You know…the kind of development where the new houses all look the same and are built right next to the road…even though there’s miles of land around. I can’t figured out why anyone would choose to live 10 feet from the highway…but hey, that’s me. I always laugh at the signs with the city name (which I forget) and the slogan “Land of Endless Possibilities”. The first two that come to mind are “heat stroke” and “dusty sandwiches”. Anyway, the destination has a Starbucks which normally means a clean restroom and a liquid snack… so it’s always the first stop.
I packed sandwiches but knew we would be arriving in Olancha for stop #2 and some of their famous fresh jerky. Mike loves the stuff. It’s housed in a old, rundown “used-to-be” gas station but I think it’s kinda charming in it’s own “stickered up” way. The person behind the counter always implores me to try a sample and though I gave up jerky when I gave up meat, I always show them a big, wistful smile while I say “no thank you”.
Next stop (when my liquid snack has been in me long enough) is about an hour farther on up at one of those highway rest stops. At this particular place the wind is usually blowing hard enough to make you walk bent over just to stay upright. It’s the last rest stop before Manzanar, the WWII Japanese Internment Camp so typically there are “history seeking lurkers” camped out on a picnic bench. On any normal trip, it’s me sharing the bathroom with one of them and a misguided squirrel looking for the exit. But on this Saturday, it was me and about 5 chartered buses, all full of Middle and High School teens. The line had already formed from the first bus of arrivals and I groaned very loudly as I got out of the car. I ran to get in front of the rapidly exiting, liquid overloaded, others in the parking lot. I snuck in the side less noticeable to the unobservant or unknowing traveler and found about 10 girls hugging their flat bellies. I heard a loud commotion… more a wailing sound… “I caaaaannnn’t fluuuush the toilet” and then another and another. Since no other adult (and I use the term loosely) was around, I took matters into my own hands…or rather…my feet. I went into one of the stalls and proceeded to show them that with a little patience and tenacity, the wall foot pedal would oblige… and the problem would be taken care of. I proudly heard the wooooshes going off as the intervals of understanding came into their young minds. I left with my head a little higher and the invisible “Flush Master” cape on my back. Some even waved good-bye!
Next stop, Lone Pine…the small town Ansel Adams hung around, taking photgraphs in his early years along with the Japanese Interment Camp. His Lone Pine photograph is one I always remember because he had to stipple out the big “LP” the High School kids carved into the side of the snow capped Sierras. If you ever happen to see it, look closely and sure enough, you’ll see the finely dotted letters. Lone Pine is a beautiful little town of about 1800 folks…most fisherman and hunters. I love it there and they have some really good eats! Might make a great place to retire.
Manzanar is after Lone Pine, a place I’ve sadly driven through many times… and then comes Carroll’s town, Big Pine. Now Big Pine is home to about 1200 people who wave at your car when you drive down through their homes. Yes, they have tract homes…kinda. They also have a beautiful park where the town folk walk their dogs (and kids) and they have antiques, art and weird, cool places. The people are super friendly, many being transplants from another place, like Carroll himself. At each shop I went in, I mentioned I was in town for Carroll’s Birthday. They all knew and loved him but I never got the feeling (like you get from some of the smaller towns) that there were any nosy rosies. This town minds it’s own business, probably because many are transplants, hoping for a quieter life in a beautiful place. I think they lucked out and found it! Another cool place to retire.
After walking the town, we went to Carroll’s Gallery and Helen, his girlfriend of 32 years, with long silver hair and a smile of indeterminably age, greeted us at the door. I told her we were “The People from Huntington Beach” and she lit up another grin. She went to the speaker that apparently connects to their home next door. She told Carroll we were here and he replied “I’ll be there in 10”. Sure enough, 10 minutes later, he emerged in western wear and a fancy bollo tie. Always loved bollo ties. I hadn’t see Carroll in 2 years and even then, it was only the one time, to stop in, chat and buy a painting. He looked exactly the same, maybe a bit thinner, but now sporting an air tube. Without any hesitation, he promptly blamed it on Helen, saying “She thinks she needs to keep me on a leash!”.
Now Helen was in on the surprise, but she hadn’t told Carroll the particulars, just that there was something he would enjoy. We had him sit in his rocker, handing him package by package, until finally he was rendered speechless and I’m betting, with his sharp dry wit, that doesn’t happen often. He looked up at me and said “There must be a place saved in Heaven for you… to go to all this trouble” which in turn, made me speechless. I told him “I’m merely the delivery girl” but I did present him with the photograph I took of him holding his own painting that now hangs in my living room.
He carefully read all the short bios telling him about each artist and I filled in what I could. I gave him posters from the show and told him all about the people that came. All I can say to Shiela, Jamie, Karen and Tak is that you made me a very proud women that day. Of all the things (the many great things) that happened in the short, sweet year my Gallery existed, this presentation to this wonderful man…was by far the best thing of all. Without your talent and effort, it would never have come to be. Thank you from both Carroll and myself.
From there, we were introduced to his Family, all wonderful, colorful people in their own right. His 2 sons donned the same exact “T” chin (which Carroll says is the Family trademark for Thomas). They both have the same wit as their Papa, but funny thing, he has all the hair.
Helen took me on a house tour where I saw many more originals in this talented man’s life work. Beautiful, flowing water colors, intricate oils, amazing, all amazing!
We left after the cake but I do remember Carroll telling me “The first 100 years is the hardest” and I guess he would know. He said he planned on living to 105 and that would be enough to make him content. From everything I saw, I do believe he’ll make it. He is an amazing character and one that I am so very privileged to call friend. If you ever travel on the 395 and you find yourself going through Big Pine…make the stop at the Thomas Gallery. His four new portraits now hang just inside the door along with a photograph… of he and I. 😉
We’ve been working diligently on our last show all week long. The combination of Yumiko and Kweli’s work complement each other perfectly and the viewers first impression upon entering will be very powerful. Four large, strong, colorful paintings have been deliberately placed “in your face”, with complemented color set to draw your eye through the room. I learned early on that I was gifted an ability to create something visually, where people do not always understand “the why”, but for some reason they feel good about what their looking at. It’s not something I understand myself, but it has always come second nature to me. It’s that mystery and balance that compels me to create…and will always keep me content, as I move on from the gallery into my next, unknown adventure.
I hope to see you all on Saturday night to support these two very talented (and more important) truly good, kind women. From me to you, a warm hug and big thank you for all your support and well wishes. H
It is with great sadness that I tell you, I will be closing the Gallery at the end of April. My Husband Micheal, was laid off from his job of 17 years, making it impossible for me to keep it open. To all those who have been an important part of Anuvue Studio, I wanted to thank you for your friendship and utter kindness. It is very rare to be able to have a dream become a reality. For a short sweet time, with the help and inspiration of all of you, I was able to have mine. A very wise woman told me “Heather, when one door closes, another one opens”… and I will always believe in that wisdom. I want to thank each and every Artist and valued friend for all your very kind thoughts in email, by phone and in person. I share what I can with you here.
I am most proud to announce that the last 2 Artist’s in line to show are Yumiko Yanone and Kweli Walker. Anuvue will fulfill their dreams on April 18th, in a duo show, with a party full of love and celebration.
I do so hope that all of you will join us one last time and make it a great memory.
God Bless all of you and your Families
Love Heather
Hi Heather .
You all have been in my thoughts lately. I’m sorry to hear your lovely Gallery will be closing . It has been a pleasure to be included in your gallery with so many lovely artists.
If you need me to clear out before the 18th so you have more room to showcase other artist please let me know .Otherwise I will shoot for the 25th but still do my best to stop by and say hello before then .
I’m so glad to have met you and hope we have the pleasure of working together again in the future .
See you soon.
Best ,
Gina
Heather,
Sad news indeed. Give your husband my best.
Thanks you for a great place.
Best,
Darcy
Oh sweetie….. I am so sorry. I will be in CA April 5-10 and will try to get up to see you and the gallery. Or at least the gallery as you will probably be working your real job. Krap. And it is such a beautiful gallery. I HATE this economy stuff. We love ya- Vicki
Oh Heather… I am so sad and very sorry to hear of this news. I am certain it was hard to write. What I will always know is how inspired you were by your father to open the gallery. You did him AND you very proud. Let me know how I can help in this final showing….I will contribute some foodie stuff. Xoxo jenny
Oh Heather, I’m so saddened to hear this and so very sorry.
I know that you’re grateful for the time you had running this wonderful space, but it still sucks!
I am so very grateful to you for all you’ve done and want you to know what a difference you’ve made in many people’s lives- including mine, and I will always be grateful for this time.
I will absolutely be there on the 18th– (the day before my birthday actually!)
You did a great thing for a lot of people Heather, remember that always. I wish this weren’t the way it is, but this damn recession.
Love you lots Heather,
MaryBeth
Oh, Heather. I am so sorry for both of you. I sat and cried after I read your email. It breaks my heart to hear that you have to close the doors on your dream.
Also, the uncertainty of your future now that Mike has lost his job. Those feelings came back to me in a flash. Not knowing what doors will open. I remember Patrick trying to remain upbeat while I am sure the turmoil inside was brewing as he thought of how he was going to provide for his family. It is a scary world not knowing what the next day will bring. I cringe every time Patrick comes home and tells me they lost a bid on another contract. Kawasaki is desperately trolling to bring something into the plant. I pray that through his connections, that Micheal will find something soon. We will keep you both in our thoughts every night as we say our prayers with Joseph. You will be added to his prayer list. Godspeed, My Dear, Godspeed. -K
I’m so sorry to hear that, Heather. It’s such a rough time for everyone. I wish you much love and support for the future. I’ll be by with new things for your last month. We’ll go out with a bang! 🙂 Cynthia
Hello!
Most of you have no idea who I am, and you’re probably going to think I’m nuts, but I really feel a need to do this. My name is Dee Muzic, and my husband Tim did most of the carpentry for Heather and Mike. I watched the cabinets, desks, display cabinets, and walls, come to life in my own backyard. I know this sounds crazy, but I feel a real connection to Anuvue Studio and when I read the email Heather sent I cried. I felt a sense of shock as well as an overwhelming sadness for her and Mike. I, as well as the rest of you, know what time, effort, frustration, and love went into making this dream come true for Heather. She made many people’s dreams a reality, along with hers. She is a very unselfish person, and deserves to have her dream fulfilled for as long as possible. I am willing to do whatever I can to keep the studio alive. If ANYONE can think of ANYTHING that we can do to keep the studio and dream alive, please let me know. I know that just one person can’t do much, but with a bunch of people who really care, miracles can happen.
Dear Heather,
I’m so sorry to hear this has happened. That is such a shock and challenge for you both. Your gallery was one of the best things that ever happened to me and the other artists who’ve shown there. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you and Mike. We (the artists and neighbors) must have a big moving party to ease the challenge of getting your things moved, etc. Please let us know how and when we can assist. When one door closes, another one opens! I hope and pray Mike finds a better job right away.
Love Always,
kweli
Hi Heather,
I got your message.
I am so sorry about Mike. I just couldn’t believe it…I’m sure he worked so hard for 17 years for the company and this happens…
And I am so sorry about your gallery, too.
The gallery is your child and the place was my dream place, too.
Thank you for still giving me a chance to have my art show.
Yes I am willing to share my space with Kweli.
If there is anything I can do, please let me know.
Sincerely,
Yumiko
I’m not much with written words but things have been difficult for many of us recently but faith with the help of time heals as well as making us stronger.
Leo
Heather, I am so sorry to hear this painful news. You are the warmest, sweetest spirit that I know. I pray it’s just a short time before something great comes Mike’s way, and you can both hold onto your dreams. Please, please call if there is anything we can do. All our love to you both, Shiela and family
To my dearest beloved Aunt,
I just heard the news from mom and read your blog… unbelievable… it’s the only thing that comes to mind. I can’t imagine how Uncle Mike feels about leaving a place he has been for so very long. Please send him my thoughts. As for you… my heart aches at the thought of you having to depart from something you have given so much devotion and love to achieve. I assure you I wouldn’t miss that show for the world!! You know, I have done much reflection on our times of late, trying to determine it’s purpose. I heard something simple yet profound today… be grateful for what you HAVE, not what you HAD. In the midst of all that we endure, you are a rare soul who shines so bright, you have given others a chance to live out thier dreams, as you live yours. I cannot begin to say I understand, or know what lies in your head or heart. My prayers will be for you and Uncle Mike. Yet rest assured, that you have left your mark on many with your gifts and you will have the opportunity to give and receive again.
I love you so very much!
Forever your niece
Corina
I usually stick to gallery business but once in a while…I throw in a story. The past weeks have been full of things that have happened to you… to me and to others…and there are things that I would like to say.
Some of you know me and others don’t. I’ve worked in the Printing Industry for more years than I care to let on. I don’t have grey hair yet but reading glasses are definitely coming into play. I’ve already purchased 1.0 readers from Rite-Aid with a scowl. I work during the day, which allows me to have the gallery, opening it only at night. I’ve worked with the same folks, grown with them, cried with them and thankfully have had many more laughs with them than a person has a right to. I wouldn’t trade those years for all the money in Saudi Arabia. You can’t buy the love I hold inside for each and every uniquely lovable one of them. Well, there might be one exception…but I figure karma will take care of him.
Our company had 3 owners originally and I learned from and respected each one for their individual gifts. We lost our “Money Man” one month ago to a sudden heart attack. He was semi-retired and enjoying his life and it hurt his family tremendously… the suddenness and finality of his death. He was a good man. We lost our “Big Boss Man” today. He had been retired for many years but he was my mentor and our founder and very dear to all our worn and withered, printer hearts. He hired me 21 years ago, actually patting me on the butt and sending me into the pressroom…like a lamb to the slaughter. I was a very young 30, without an ounce of confrontational skills, working with men I knew who would not take me seriously. Such was my very first day. I still howl at that memory and wonder at the respect I ultimately came to earn… and the fierce protectors and champions each and every one of them came to be around me. Tonight, my heart goes out to both Families because I know what it is to lose a beloved Father. I would not want to endure it again. The last owner asked me to send a mass email….and in it I said the things I knew had to be said to be proper…but I finished with something about how Gutenberg was about to learn exactly “How it’s really done” 😉 Chuck would have liked that and I owed him.
I looked out into the shop today and watched the faces I have come to love. I see an economy that hurts our industry and make me fearful for all these people around me. I do not know what the future holds and with times as they are, people are amazed to find that I do not watch TV or read the newspaper. I am an optimist by nature and do not like being brought into the harsh realities the news wants to pull us down into. I may be naive in my own little world but I will continue thus so because I will not be polluted by negativity. Bad news sells, along with Brangelina appearances and American Idol songs. But If my mind can stay positive with the world in turmoil, I win a battle every day. I can smile at my fellow man in hopes of making them wonder at what simple secret I hold… that they do not. Fact is, you can choose to be positive in your own mind…or you can make it seem as hopeless as you like. For me, if the sky falls tomorrow, I’m going to be searching for a way to lift it. I was given this life by the grace of God and I almost screwed it up once…I wouldn’t dare waste it again.
Take a good look around you. If you can say you have one friend, if you have clothes on your back, if your children have enough food to eat and if you still have breath in your lungs…you are better off than allot of people who deserve better than their circumstances have given them. If I lose my job tomorrow, if I lose the gallery next, I will still be who I am. I can and will go on and I don’t need the government or Hollywood or the news people to tell me what to feel. And I will make a new dream out of whatever is left from the ashes of the old.
Don’t let the negativity surrounding you…infect you. Keep on going. Don’t look back. Hell, don’t even look sideways. Just keep on going straight. Plant some goodness in your soul and a smile on your face because people need to see it. ..and they need to know it’s ok to have hope.
A tradition practised by the Aztecs, Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) is an ancient indigenous celebration of death. Because of the Spanish influence, Dia de los Muertos has Catholic and Spanish influences, but never the less has kept its inherently, strong indigenous roots. This celebration, which traditionally lasts two nights and three days, is a time when people remember family and friends who have died by building an altar in their memory. The altar, built in the home on on the gravesite, is decorated with flowers, candles and sugar skulls. The family then proceeds to make the favorite foods of the deceased and sing the songs they so dearly loved.
Walking around this celebration, I came upon an alter of a woman that looked so familiar to me. Suddenly, it dawned on me she was the mother of my niece (my nephew’s wife). Chris was a lovely, free spirited woman who I only knew briefly. As I watched a young mother explaining about the alter to her two small children, I couldn’t help laugh at the young boy behind the scene with that bucket. It just goes to show how… even in the celebration of those who’ve past on… life continues in all it’s silliness… and I’m pretty dog gone sure Chris would have loved the shot. 🙂
Anuvue Studio 
