Archive for the People Category

Crime in my City

Posted in ahh geez, City Lights, dance, Diagonal View, electric, Funny, Haunting, Humor, In sync, It could Happen, kids at play, Kids in Costumes, Local, Misfits, neighbors, Odd Pairs, Oh Yeah!, People, performance art, Random, Smiling, snort, stomach muscles, the story unfolds, uh oh, Uncategorized, wacky, Whoo Hoo on September 2, 2011 by anuvuestudio

I’m blessed to live in a City where real crime doesn’t happen often and the “Crime Report” is a thing of wonder each week. I took a particular liking to this excerpt from the weekly paper and thought I would share it. I can just imagine the Police Officers expressions as they responded to the call…

Suspicious Person / Circumstances
6200 Block Newbury Drive. A small group of dancers, wearing neon-colored lighting affixed to black leotards, were reported ringing doorbells and spooking residence. Police were unable to locate the dancers, who turned off their costumes when residence tried to question them.

Please care…

Posted in Attitudes, Bring it, Divided, Doctor visits, Entering New Territory, good grief, Hiding place, Hope, It could Happen, keeping positive, last words, Life, People, Personal, Remember, Self portrait, Teaching, the story unfolds, thoughts, Too tough to die, Uncategorized, wisdom, wish, yikes, yuck! with tags , , , , , on April 21, 2011 by anuvuestudio


About others and read this…

Imagine each day you wake, you live with the possibility of feeling ill. Your throat gets scratchy, your ears plug, your sinus’s have painful pressure and your eyes water. Imagine everyday feeling like you have a cold…that will never go away. Not enough? Take your right hand and with your index finger and thumb, pinch them together over your nose and hold. It’s at  this point you begin to breath through your mouth. Now, with your left hand, place your flat palm over your mouth and hold tight. Imagine the weight of a 30lb child standing on your chest in the center between your nipples. Can you feel the weight pressing? Now wait until you have to breath…until you’re actually scared…and then… don’t let go. Not enough. Dig a hole… in the ground…and place yourself in it. Let a friend cover you over with fresh, heavy earth, until there’s no light and no air. Get the picture?

Asthma facts and Statistics

Every day in America Alone:

  • Every day in America Alone:
    40,000 people miss school or work due to asthma.
  •  30,000 people have an asthma attack.
  •  5,000 people visit the emergency room due to asthma.
  •  1,000 people are admitted to the hospital due to asthma.
  •  11 people die from asthma.

An estimated 20 million Americans suffer from asthma (1 in 15 Americans), and 50% of asthma cases are “allergic-asthma.” The prevalence of asthma has been increasing since the early 1980s across all age, sex and racial groups.

Multiple Chemical Sensitivity 

Chemical-based products are all around: in the clothes we wear, in the food we eat and in the air we breathe. It is not possible to escape exposure. Many people have become sensitized to the chemicals around them. It is estimated that as much as 15% of the population has become sensitized to common household and commercial products. For some people the sensitization is not too serious a problem. They may have what appears to be a minor allergy to one or more chemicals. Other people are much more seriously affected. Such people have a condition known as Multiple Chemical Sensitivity or MCS.

Symptoms of MCS 

• asthma or other breathing problems  • autoimmune disorders  • behavioral problems  • bloating or other intestinal problems  • cardiovascular irregularities  • chronic exhaustion  • disorientation or becoming “lost”  • dizziness  • dystonia (paralysis)  • eye, nose and throat problems • fatigue and depression • flu-like symptoms • food allergies and intolerances • genitourinary problems • headaches • increased sensitivity to odors • inflammation • irritability • learning disabilities • mental confusion • movement disorders • muscle weakness and joint pains • numbness and tingling in limbs • persistent infections, especially yeast  • persistent skin rashes and sores • seizure disorders • short or long term memory loss • visual disturbance

MCS may result from a single massive exposure to one or more toxic substance or repeated exposures to low doses. Some people become chemical-sensitive following a toxic chemical spill at work or in their community, or after exposure to pesticides. Or, individuals may develop this condition from spending time in a poorly ventilated building, where they breathe a combination of chemicals. MCS may be brought on by a wide array of chemicals found at home, at work, in hospitals, in parks, and at school.

Now, the next time you splash on that aftershave…or the next time you spray your body with your favorite brand of perfume…to go to work, a restaurant, a club, a sporting event, a play or concert… think about this…

Did you know that perfume is made of toxic chemicals that can injure your health? Many of the chemicals in perfume are the same chemicals in cigarette smoke, and yet there is no regulation of the fragrance industry. Many people are “bothered” by perfumes – developing headaches, sinus problems, and even asthma from exposures. Many have gotten sick or even disabled from wearing (or being exposed to) fragrances and using other scented products. And fragrances are now used in almost every cleaning, laundry, and personal-care product on the market! These chemicals go directly into the bloodstream when applied to our skin and are also absorbed into the skin from our clothing. We also inhale the chemical fumes, which then go straight to our brains where they can do major harm. Many even have a “narcotic” effect, which is why some people seem “addicted” to their perfumes.

The problem with scented products is not so much the smell itself as the chemicals that produce the smell. Nearly all scented products currently on the market are made largely or entirely of synthetic chemicals, usually derived from petroleum or coal tar. Nearly one-third of the chemical additives used in perfumes and other scented products are known to be toxic, and it’s not safe to assume that the other chemicals are safe just because they aren’t yet known to be toxic. (Keep in mind that most of the chemicals used in this country, including 90% of the pesticides, have never been tested.) And just one perfume can contain more than 500 chemicals. Expensive products are just as likely as cheap ones to contain synthetic chemicals. And words like “hypoallergenic,” “natural scent,” “floral,” and the names of various flowers don’t mean that you can trust the product under the label–they just mean that the manufacturer wants you to think that the product is safe. Even “unscented” may actually mean that a masking fragrance has been added to the product to disguise the smell of certain ingredients.

The only safe assumption about scented products is that they contain numerous toxic chemicals which constantly vaporize into the air and attach themselves to the hair, clothing, and surroundings of anyone who wears them. These chemicals are skin irritants, suffocants, eye and respiratory tract irritants, and neurotoxins. That’s why being around someone who’s wearing a scented product (or who’s wearing clothes that have picked up smells from past use of scented products) can cause an chemically sensitive person to develop obvious allergy symptoms (sneezing, coughing, watery eyes), to have an asthma attack, to develop a headache, to become dizzy or nauseous, to have trouble focusing or thinking or remembering, to experience sudden mood changes, to develop muscle cramps or spinal subluxations, or even to have a seizure or lose consciousness.

And that’s why wearing scented products isn’t just a personal choice. It’s a choice to impact the air space of others–and in ways you may not be able to predict or control. And that’s why “I’m just wearing a little!” or “It’s not perfume, it’s just my soap” are irrelevant responses. The chemicals don’t care. They don’t care how much you’re wearing or in what form you’re wearing it–they’re going to vaporize into the air around you and do their chemical thing, even if you weren’t planning to harm someone.

I don’t own these statistics and words. They belong to these wise and caring people and Foundations:

Thanks go to Roberta Rigsby, the World Asthma Foundation, the Asthma Foundation and the Chemical Sensitivity Foundation for all this great info and for trying to make the world a safe place for everyone.

Human

Posted in Attitudes, back to earth, Choices, Contradiction, Diagonal View, Dreamer, Faith, hand of man, Heart of the Matter, Hope, Images, It could Happen, keeping positive, last words, Life, Love, Memories, People, Piles of sand, quest, search, stomach muscles, Symbolism, the story unfolds, thoughts, Too tough to die, wisdom on March 21, 2011 by anuvuestudio

Many people out there are soul searching in these difficult times. I am one of them. I can’t put those feelings into words but this lovely song has done it for me. This is for all of you (and me too). Many Blessings 😉 H

Special thanks to Civil Twilight for the beautiful song “Human”, to Da Vinci, 109BC, The Voice, Media Watch, Szukalski, Tori, People’s Voice, The Telegraph, Humanity Healing, Klunavik. MNN

Daylight and it’s hidden secrets

Posted in aliens, back to earth, Bring it, Candy!, create, Diagonal View, Dreamer, eclectic, Enterng new territory, fabulous, Friends, Funny, good grief, Goofballs, green eyed monster, Halloween, Hanging out, Heart of the Matter, Humor, Images, Kids in Costumes, Party, People, playing, Smiling, stomach muscles, thanks, the story unfolds, uh oh, Uncategorized, Unusual, wacky, What?, Whoo Hoo, wow, yikes on October 30, 2009 by anuvuestudio

I had a chance, before preview, to take a few shots so the folks who can’t come…can see what makes up this years Halloween theme. This is esecially for Yumiko, an Artist from Anuvue Studio & Gallery, who had brain surgery and is at home recovering. High five and big hug Yumi!
This was a very “Green Friendly” year in that most everything is being recycled in some form. What the kids and adults see at night is created with blacklight paint, extremely minute details that they may never noticed,and a bit of mystery. Here’s a sneak peek in the daylight.

The entrance was made from recycled plywood, donated by our friend Gary, used previously for cement work. It was painted from the “not the right color” section of our local hardware store. I thought it was strange, every time I showed up, they had another can of practically the same color…I swear I have Halloween angels at work 😉
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This is the view as you enter.
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I simply could not resist these clear tubes… You are looking at command central, where the ship is controlled…and every kid in the neighborhood wants to fly. All the neato controls were gifted by my neighbor Greg who works for KOCE. The channel was clearing out allot of outdated gadgets…just in time for a spacecraft. The edging on the desk is actually the stuff they put along lawns… sprayed silver. I think it looks like metal and is very spacey. 😉
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Do not touch signs are an absolute must bring the “touching” down to only “minimal madness”.
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What a ship without a lab of bubbling jars with strange things. These aliens are cloning humans…with aliens. I love the doll heads so much, they are going in my house when this is over. They fit perfectly into the washing machine overflow tray I found 😉
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Fred and Ethel diligently in their tubes…along with a new 2 headed offspring. All the dials are old hairspray, paint and misc. lids with dial stickers. Anything white glares in the blacklight so they look quite real. All the tubes are cardboard that’s been mitered and heck, there’s even some cookie trays and mac computer box inserts painted silver up there.
seniors&preview-11

Tonight, after second preview night, I’ll take some shots so you can see the transformation at night. We had about 100 guests on Thursday night. One boy was so cute in his hotdog costume. I love bringing the kids in to see the candy and watch their frustration of how to pick just one. With all the do not touch signs, one little boy kept whining “Dad, I can’t touch anything…DADDDDDD, I can’t touch anything…finally I let him touch some of the keyboards on the center table with the baby heads. The next thing I know there are 5 little boys jumping up and down, all trying to all touch the keyboard, all shouting “I want to touch it” !
I asked my friend Jamie to be the “don’t touch” person in the room. She raised 2 kids and her costume has a sword…;)

Local Watch

Posted in Beach Land, Bring it, Local, People, Turf, Watchdog on July 31, 2009 by anuvuestudio

I love to drive around and shoot what I see in town…and downtown has no shortage of colorful folks. Tonight while going down Pacific Coast Highway, I notice this guy sitting in what is one of the last undeveloped fields across from the City Beach. I jumped out of my wrangler and this HB local was more than happy to be captured on his watch.
PCH watcher

Tillamook Tour

Posted in back in business, cheese, food, glorious food, People, tours, Uncategorized on July 27, 2009 by anuvuestudio
Get the Milk
First there is the milk. Our farmer-owners have received national recognition for the premium-quality milk their cows produce. High standards of quality begin with the milk.
The use of modern milking and cooling equipment is just one way we maintain our high standards for quality and sanitation. A mixture of dairy cow breeds, starting with Holstein-Friesians and complemented by Jerseys, Brown Swiss and Guernseys, gives us that blend of butterfat and protein components that is perfect for making the best cheeses in the world.
The milk leaves the farm in a refrigerated milk truck. While still on the truck, samples of the milk are taken and tested for appearance and antibiotics, among other things. Finally, the milk is unloaded at our milk receiving facilities.
Cook the Milk
The fresh, cold milk now passes through the heat-exchanging pasteurizer. For cheddar, the milk is heat-shocked. While such treatment is conducted at near-pasteurization conditions, the milk is still at a low enough temperature to preserve its beneficial enzymes but kill certain kinds of bacteria. Some strains of bacteria control the flavor, while others contribute to the body and texture of the cheese.
The milk is then sent on to the cooking vats. Starter culture is added to produce lactic acid, critical to the cheesemaking process. To achieve consistently colored yellow cheddar, a natural coloring from the Annatto seed is added; no coloring is added to our Vintage White cheddars.
A vital step in the process of making cheese is the formation of curd. To begin this development, a material is added to coagulate the milk. We use a microbial/vegetable-based rennet for all of our cheeses, except our Vintage White cheddars, which use traditional rennet.
Cut the Curd
After about 30 minutes, the vat of milk is ready. A soft curd, made up of casein, a naturally occurring milk protein, has formed. Large stainless-steel knives are used to cut the soft curd mass into ¼-inch pieces. The temperature in the cooking vat is then raised to about 100° F to aid in firming the curd and releasing liquid from the curd particles. This liquid, called “whey,” contains milk sugar, minerals and water-soluble milk proteins.
Send to the Cheddarmaster
When the curd has reached a satisfactory texture, the curds and whey are pumped to the Cheddarmaster unit, a stainless steel piece of equipment that drains the whey from the curd and aids in the cheddaring process. The whey is removed and sent to dryers to be made into non-hygroscopic dried whey. To start the cheddaring process, the curd is matted on a six-foot-wide belt inside the Cheddarmaster.
Cheddar the Cheese
Here “cheddar” becomes a verb describing the chemical change that occurs in the casein, causing the curd particles to adhere to each other and become stringy. When the proper acidity is reached in the curd, the cheddar mat is forced through the curd mill, which chops the large slabs into small, three-inch-long bits. These loose curd chunks are then passed through a salting chamber inside of which each curd is dusted with a thin layer of crystalline salt.
Salt It
Once salted, the curd is stirred to assure an even distribution. Salt crystals dissolve on the surface of the cheese, creating a brine that is absorbed by the curd. When the absorption is complete, the curds are transferred to the pressing towers, where a vacuum draws off the excess moisture in the cheese.
Seal It
After 30 minutes in the pressing towers, 40-pound cheese blocks are cut from the base of the towers and placed in a laminated plastic bag. A high-powered vacuum is drawn over this package of cheese and the pouch is then sealed. The block is now in an airtight, moisture-proof bag.
Age It
The sealed blocks are transported to a rapid cool room and held for 24 hours at 38° F. From there, they are palletized and placed in storage for aging and curing at 40-42° F. To achieve the unique flavor characteristics of Tillamook cheddar, the cheese is aged for a minimum of 60 days.
Grade It
Before the cheese is packaged, it’s tasted. Cheese analysts take core samples from a random sampling of cheese blocks every day. They taste and smell the cheese, checking flavor and texture to determine which cheeses need to be sent back for further aging into sharp and extra-sharp varieties.
Package It
After curing and grading, the cheese blocks are taken to the packaging department where the aging bags are removed and the 40-pound blocks are cut for retail sale. Finally, the cheese passes through the packaging machine, which readies the consumer-size blocks for market.

tilamook cheese-1

On a recent trip, I was lucky enough to visit the Tillamook factory in northern Oregon. Never mind that I’m allergic to most dairy…but still love cheese and eat it, especially cheddar…and did I mention they serve 28 different ice cream flavors. They offer a self guided tour through some very camera unfriendly tinted windows. I got what I could to show you. They weren’t working on the “cooking milk” portion of the gig (they do that early in the am)… But I did get to see the contraptions that make all their wonderful products and see some of the workers in action. I had no idea how big those blocks of cheese they heft around were prior…but I can now tell you they’re big-uns! At the end of the tour, you get to sample curds…or was it whey (not sure)…who cares…I stayed at the cut cubes of cheddar with the little toothpicks!

Now Tillamook has been in the business of making cheese since 1909 so I figured I’d borrow their info. Heck, what do I know about cheese making? I just eat the stuff!

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First there is the milk. The farmer-owners produce the highest quality of milk (with the help of their cows) and it is delivered daily to the Tilamook plant. A mixture of dairy cow breeds, starting with Holstein-Friesians and complemented by Jerseys, Brown Swiss and Guernseys, gives the blend of butterfat and protein components that is perfect for making the best cheeses in the world. The milk leaves the farm in a refrigerated milk truck. While still on the truck, samples of the milk are taken and tested for appearance and antibiotics, among other things. Finally, the milk is unloaded at the milk receiving facilities.

tilamook cheese-2

The fresh, cold milk now passes through the heat-exchanging pasteurizer. For cheddar, the milk is heat-shocked. While such treatment is conducted at near-pasteurization conditions, the milk is still at a low enough temperature to preserve its beneficial enzymes but kill certain kinds of bacteria. Some strains of bacteria control the flavor, while others contribute to the body and texture of the cheese.

tilamook cheese-3

The milk is then sent on to the cooking vats. Starter culture is added to produce lactic acid, critical to the cheesemaking process. To achieve consistently colored yellow cheddar, a natural coloring from the Annatto seed is added; no coloring is added to vintage white cheddars.

tilamook cheese-4

A vital step in the process of making cheese is the formation of curd. To begin this development, a material is added to coagulate the milk. They use a microbial/vegetable-based rennet for all of cheeses, except their vintage white cheddars, which use traditional rennet.

After about 30 minutes, the vat of milk is ready. A soft curd, made up of casein, a naturally occurring milk protein, has formed. Large stainless-steel knives are used to cut the soft curd mass into ¼-inch pieces. The temperature in the cooking vat is then raised to about 100° F to aid in firming the curd and releasing liquid from the curd particles. This liquid, called “whey,” contains milk sugar, minerals and water-soluble milk proteins.

When the curd has reached a satisfactory texture, the curds and whey are pumped to the Cheddarmaster unit, a stainless steel piece of equipment that drains the whey from the curd and aids in the cheddaring process. The whey is removed and sent to dryers to be made into non-hygroscopic dried whey. To start the cheddaring process, the curd is matted on a six-foot-wide belt inside the Cheddarmaster.

Here “cheddar” becomes a verb describing the chemical change that occurs in the casein, causing the curd particles to adhere to each other and become stringy. When the proper acidity is reached in the curd, the cheddar mat is forced through the curd mill, which chops the large slabs into small, three-inch-long bits. These loose curd chunks are then passed through a salting chamber inside of which each curd is dusted with a thin layer of crystalline salt.

Once salted, the curd is stirred to assure an even distribution. Salt crystals dissolve on the surface of the cheese, creating a brine that is absorbed by the curd. When the absorption is complete, the curds are transferred to the pressing towers, where a vacuum draws off the excess moisture in the cheese.

tilamook cheese5

After 30 minutes in the pressing towers, 40-pound cheese blocks are cut from the base of the towers and placed in a laminated plastic bag. A high-powered vacuum is drawn over this package of cheese and the pouch is then sealed. The block is now in an airtight, moisture-proof bag.

tilamook cheese-7tilamook cheese-8tilamook cheese-9

The sealed blocks are transported to a rapid cool room and held for 24 hours at 38° F. From there, they are palletized and placed in storage for aging and curing at 40-42° F. To achieve the unique flavor characteristics of Tillamook cheddar, the cheese is aged for a minimum of 60 days.

tilamook cheese-6

Before the cheese is packaged, it’s tasted. Cheese analysts take core samples from a random sampling of cheese blocks every day. They taste and smell the cheese, checking flavor and texture to determine which cheeses need to be sent back for further aging into sharp and extra-sharp varieties.

tilamook cheese-11

After curing and grading, the cheese blocks are taken to the packaging department where the aging bags are removed and the 40-pound blocks are cut for retail sale. Finally, the cheese passes through the packaging machine, which readies the consumer-size blocks for market.

tilamook cheese-10tilamook cheese-12

818 Opening

Posted in Art, art show, artists, Bring it, Clowns, create, eclectic, entertainment, excitement, fabulous, Friends, gallery, keeping positive, Music, Musicians, opening, Party, People, reception, studio, the story unfolds, Uncategorized, Whoo Hoo on March 9, 2009 by anuvuestudio

The 818 opening had a wonderful turnout. I’m very happy to see the younger crowd coming to appreciate the art and the music…and naturally…the FOOD!

I’m embarrassed to say that the day before, I had been playing with my white balance buttons…and well…my memory isn’t what it used to be. I didn’t even notice until I was importing into Lightroom…a tad late.
It took me a while to get anything at all to show you…please forgive the green, dark people…(not a word Jim).

The Artists all came out to say hello. I enjoyed speaking with them all. Jamie Oliff told me his ideas come from the famous old bar in Hollywood, The Dresden. He sits at the bar, orders cranberry juice and sketches all “The Players” on a napkin. Then he goes home, and with only black acrylic paint, he produces what you see. The white is actually the canvas surface! He said he would take me there to shoot anytime. I am definitely going to visit soon and with the proper settings!

Katie Chappell provided the music for the evening, and when she took her break, other friends entertained us. I was sorry not to get their names. Both young women have beautiful, resonating voices…and the young man…well, he actually played the box he was sitting on like a bongo. I was mesmerized by the sound. It reminded me so much of Ireland and the “In the bar and out” musicians. So wonderful to have so many talented people all together.

Jamie had kids all around her in an impromptu art class. Very fun to see Moms scattered around them. We were also joined for the first time by Cynthia Morehouse (flower in hair), who makes the most beautiful Latin-Catholic inspired jewelry and our newest Glass artist, Dominick Camera (Hat). A big welcome to both.

I dedicate this opening to the Homeless Gentleman (whom at the time, I didn’t know was homeless) that accosted me in the Hallway (2 hours prior to the party) over 8 Pacifico beers. I don’t drink, but I imagine they were worth it. And a very special thanks to no less than 7 of Huntington Beach’s finest, who responded within minutes, calming a very shook up woman and taking control after frantic calls from hair salon and pizza parlor witnesses… who saw my husband running down the middle of a very bust street… in hot pursuit after the much larger guy. His back pack was a bit weighted down, what with the frozen steaks, coffee, beer and all. 😉

My special thanks as always to Jamie, Susan and Micheal, who without their help and love…this would not be possible. Emma will do the lead in…with her favorite painting, The Lighthouse, by Tak Ioka.
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attitude

Posted in Attitudes, Bring it, Choices, future, Generation, Hope, Life, opinion, People, Symbolism, thoughts, Uncategorized, vision on March 3, 2009 by anuvuestudio

A friend up in the Bay Area shared this with me today. I thought I would share it with you…

Laura’s Reception: Finding Harmony

Posted in Art, artists, Famiiy, Friends, gallery, Images, Party, People, reception on November 21, 2008 by anuvuestudio

The brave 40 who came out for Laura’s reception during the fires… AND the lovely Megan provided the tunes…she was fabulous 😉

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The Doctor Visit

Posted in Choices, Clowns, clutter, comment, Doctor visits, Entering New Territory, entertainment, good grief, Grand Central, Hanging out, Hiding place, Humor, Idiot, Life, neighbors, O.K. Corral, People, Personal, snort, Somewhere Over the rainbow, stomach muscles, the story unfolds, thoughts, uh oh, Uncategorized, Valor, wacky, walking on water, welome, What?, White Walls, Whoo Hoo, wisdom, wow, yellow brick road on August 28, 2008 by anuvuestudio

Ok, I haven’t told a story for a while…and well, today, I’ve got one. First, let me begin to tell you folks out there that still think it’s cool to have a tan, forget it. I spent my entire teen years burning…and peeling, burning and peeling, “repeat at will”… and now I’m paying for it. I now walk around with a giant black Joan Crawford hat and Chinese paper umbrellas; with SP…I don’t know…what are they up to…90? ya know…kind of vampirish.. (Not that I have any problems with vampires) Ok… that said. Preaching over.

Today was my “see the Dermatologist because you’ve had this thing on your cheek forever” visit. I actual refer to it as “My little friend” in a Scarface kind of accent. After securing a parking spot…that isn’t all that easy here in So Cal…I finally made it to room 204. When I opened the door to the office, I was greeted by a “spaciously challenged” room…maybe 9 feet wide by 10 feet long. It held a couch, a table and 4 chairs…2 facing 2 others…all shoved in with a shoehorn. There were no windows unless you call the slider door where the receptionist sits hidden with her own air… a window.

I crammed my way inside and saw a disgruntled looking 20 something guy with his equally disgruntled 20 something girlfriend sitting on the narrow couch. They were probably just mad because they now were forced to share their already limited air supply. Well, I did what any normal person would…I signed in for my 10:30 appointment, glared back and took a seat. The receptionist called me and gave me the ever-popular clipboard. It had more papers to sign than the mortgage I currently have and asked me more personal questions that my own husband has ever dared to ask.

While filling papers out, the narrow entrance door opened and in huddled an elderly lady with a large carved cane. She managed her way to the receptionist sign-in sheet and then took the second of the 4 chairs, opposite me…cane extending far into the room. Still filling out my paperwork, the door opened yet again. In came a long, lanky woman in maybe her late 50’s. She apparently was a repeat customer and had the routine down. She promptly signed and sat in the 3rd of 4 chairs, next to me. I had finished the first draft on my future life story and walked back up. It was at this time I noticed two things. One was that everyone signing in had an appointment at 10:30 and that thankfully there was a candy dish…with tootsie rolls. Well, all things considered, figuring trouble brewing, I naturally dug in, took enough to kill the pain and re-took my seat just in time to see the door open again.

In walked a very round, very tall man…with a rather large, round, pink woman behind him…and just as I thought the room couldn’t get any smaller…in came their daughter with the largest Afro I have ever seen in my life! It was at this very moment I started searching this tiny room for the hidden camera. Each person shuffled around, trying to get comfortable in a room where a family of Hobbits couldn’t get comfortable. I noticed the disgruntled guy get up and hi-tail it out into the hallway as quick as he could. He apparently thought it was “him”…or “her”…and he’d chose to save himself.. We all sat, trying not to stare at each other because there wasn’t anywhere to look…and just when I thought it couldn’t get worse…in walked a woman with a rather large incision at her throat with some very nasty looking sutures. I could feel my head spinning.

She signed, sat and stared with the rest. It was about this time my phone began to ring. It’s rather loud and I tried hard to get to it in time to turn it off. That’s when the elderly lady said “that’s a pretty song’…”who is it?”…all eyes on me. I swallowed and mumbled “Staind”. The late fiftyish woman yelled “Sting?”…. to which I had to reply “No, S-T-A-I-N-D”. “Well it’s very pretty…what’s the title?” she asked. I had to tell her “It’s been a while”…, to which I will not repeat the conversations of confusion that title lead to about my “remembering” but will tell you that Afro kid had a big smirk on her face, waiting to see how I’d get out of it. She and I were the only ones to know that the “Pretty song” was written by a recovered heroine addict confessing his life’s low moments…complete with profanity.

In my silence, the rather large, pink, round woman decided to ask each person his or her reason for being there at this momentous moment in time. I was treated to horrific scars, office treatments, surgery stories, chemo advise and just…just as they got to me…an angel with bright blue eyes and a pixie grin opened the second door and yelled “Heather”. I have never in my life catapulted across a room as if shot from a cannon…but I did then. I kissed her hand and said “THANK GOD YOU CAME FOR ME…!” I think she might have even understood.

I was then settled into a room of quite lovely, Zen like, decor. The designer, no doubt, had at one time been left in the waiting room and felt some form of moral responsibility to those who “made it through” boot camp lobby. I found it interesting that a dermatologist has the same type of bed thing you’re supposed to hop up on. The angel asked me the routine questions, “What are you allergic to”…oh so innocently. My smile confirmed she had hit the jackpot. Upon completion I sat there re-living, in my mind, the stories I had just heard in the Hobbit cave until the Doctor walked in and looked at me over her glasses. She questioned me rather bluntly about “my little friend”…”How long?”….“Um, well, a while”…quite a while”… No eye contact. To which she said “Are we talking years?… Hummmmmm…

She put her rather large glass over me with its rather bright light and pulled and prodded my cheek. She pulled her glasses upright and said “We can go about this one of 2 ways”…”I can give you a topical cream and we can try it for 3 weeks…or we can biopsy now…. which could leave a scar”. Now I knew damn well she thought I’d pick the cream being a woman. I replied, “Well, you know… I’ve always looked kinda innocent…let’s chance the scar!”… And finally, a smile. She then did her thing, finally presenting my cheek with a very un-fashionable band aid that could not be more noticeable if it were hot pink and I left with a “thank you very much” getting the hell out. I actually ran the 3 steps I needed to pass the waiting room.

I returned to work and promptly told the boys I was happy to have Shaved off” a little weight and that I had now provided them with a target for all those rubber bands. My first comment, from a friend was…”Oh, Nice look”… I expected no less…

When I got home I promptly went to the store in search of the “cool band aids”. I had a choice of “Nascar” or “Hello Kitttie”…neither of which suits me. I was looking for a scull with crossbones but selected “Hello Kittie” because I figure I can draw fangs on her…

And, when I return to the Doc’s office, I think I’ll get some use out of my old lawn chair and sit in the hallway until they call… 😉